I would rather be way below my weight limits. I have 4800lbs per my door sticker, but when I weighed it myself, it was over 5000lbs. I don’t want a camper that heavy. I was dead set on getting a hard side camper, but changed my mind and leaning towards a pop up. I would rather be under 2000lbs and save my brakes and suspension from wear.
Like you said, most are over and have had no problems. For me, as long as you are not over the tire rating, you should be fine.
On RV.net, the weight police always chime in.